1) Visit all 50 states.
Self-explanatory. Or so I thought.
In fact, I have only one comment: I did not say “Drive to all 50 states.” Just so we’re clear, the Coast Guard does not need to be on the lookout for a girl valiantly trying to row to Hawaii in a dilapidated ’97 GMC truck.
2) Dance in each state.
I freely admit my preference for contra. But I’m open to swing, Zydeco, salsa. Tribal dancing groups are welcome to apply, so long as no nudity is involved.
3) Stay with real people.
Why travel across the country if you want to stare at the speckling on the ceiling of a hotel room? Why bother? What’s the point?
That said, some nights I need solitude to get work done.
Comments tagged “hypocrisy” can be forwarded to my former KGB publicist currently serving time for unethical interview practices.
4) Democracy rules.

Any options that come up along the route will not be handled by me. They will be handled by you.
Should she go to the Norton Lamb Museum or the disturbingly pink coffee shop? Should she order octopus jambalaya or aardvark surprise?
Polls are on the website. They close promptly at designated time. One vote per half hour. Go.
(Please be kind.)